


Carry Me Out To The Garden

by meantforinfinitesadness



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Sad Ending, Sick Character, Sick Obi-Wan Kenobi, Sickfic, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:41:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24944797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meantforinfinitesadness/pseuds/meantforinfinitesadness
Summary: His mind feels as if it’s disconnected from his body. The world feels fuzzy and the words flowing around him are muted. He blinks at the Healer in front of him. It’s not Vokara, that much he knows. He feels terrible about not getting their name (rather, he doesn’t remember it).“I’m sorry,” His voice is far away from his ears as his numb body tries to focus. “Could you repeat that?”The Healer’s face contorts into a look of sympathy.“You’re very sick, Master Kenobi. We’re not sure how this illness came to be or what it is. What we do know is that, well-”OR; A sickfic based on the Angst/Soft prompt for Obitineweek.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze
Comments: 47
Kudos: 116





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lightasthesun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightasthesun/gifts).



> Uh. This is different. It's...gonna be fun. Yup. 100%. I promise. 
> 
> Also it's different formatting I guess. It's a Then/Now sort of a deal. So we'll see how that goes. lightasthesun put tags on my obitineweek prompt fill for the angst/soft day and gave me ideas. Which. Brought us this.
> 
> Title from "The Blue, The Green" by Lonely the Brave

_ Then _

His mind feels as if it’s disconnected from his body. The world feels fuzzy and the words flowing around him are muted. He blinks at the Healer in front of him. It’s not Vokara, that much he knows. He feels terrible about not getting their name (rather, he doesn’t remember it).

“I’m sorry,” His voice is far away from his ears as his numb body tries to focus. “Could you repeat that?” 

The Healer’s face contorts into a look of sympathy.

“You’re very sick, Master Kenobi. We’re not sure how this illness came to be or what it is. What we do know is that, well-”

_ Now _

Satine’s hand is careful as it cards through Obi-Wan’s hair. He blinks sluggishly at her and smiles softly. 

“Hey, you.” Her voice is as soft as his smile. “How did you sleep?”

He hums at her. 

It seems that’s all he can do these days. 

Humming, sighing, coughing. 

Talking takes more out of him than he would like, but illnesses are fickle things. 

“Do you feel up to a walk?” She asks as her fingers continue their ministrations. 

He nods at her and rises stiffly from the bed. His vision fizzes for a moment, but it passes quickly. Satine’s already dressed for the day (in all reality, so is Obi-Wan) and she wanders over the dresser for a moment before facing him. 

He shakes his head at her and she nods. He feels far too tired to put actual clothes on. His sleep clothes will have to do. 

She grabs his cane from the side of the bed and helps him stand. His legs shake and he fears he won’t be able to take a walk with her today. He fears his legs will give out and he’ll be resigned to a day in bed.

That doesn’t happen. Somehow, they hold his weight. 

So, with one hand on his cane and the other gripping the inside of Satine’s elbow, he takes shuffling steps. 

They begin their walk. 


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need you all to know that I kind of know where I'm going with this and I kind of don't know where I'm going with this.

_ Then _

He’d felt fine that morning. Obi-Wan didn’t wake up with a headache or a persistent ache thrumming in his veins. He felt ready to take on whatever the day would bring. 

“General?” Cody called for his General and Obi-Wan turned tired eyes on his Commander.

The planet they were currently on was cold and wet. Obi-Wan’s men had taken it upon themselves to bundle their ill General in as many layers as possible. Obi-Wan allowed it with soft smiles and a flood of love through the Force. 

He had been advised by his Healers to inform the men about what was happening. That had gone as well as he thought it would have. 

_ “Cody, could you gather the men?” Obi-Wan asked two days after he left the Healers. They were sent out right after that (as much as his Healers didn’t like it, but Obi-Wan insisted he be allowed to do this) and Obi-Wan decided after a day on  _ The Negotiator  _ that he needed to inform his men about the new change in his and their lives.  _

_ So, with as many of the 212th as they could fit in the mess hall and others listening over the com system, Obi-Wan spoke.  _

_ “I have some news to share with you all.” The smile on his face never left as he informed the men of his illness. It was a sad, tired smile, but it stayed on his face.  _

_ The tears that left their eyes were loud and large. He allowed himself to share that vulnerability and felt a few tears slip down his cheeks as well.  _

“Cody,” Obi-Wan greeted. “What did you find?” His Commander gave Obi-Wan the report from the recon Ghost Company did. 

Obi-Wan lost track of the report as a ringing started to feel his ears. The world wobbled and spun and his breathing was loud in his ears.

“General?”

His vision blackens.

  
  


_ Now _

The wind that enters Satine’s rooms is warm and soft against Obi-Wan’s skin. He smiles weekly at her from across the room. The music that drifts softly against his tired mind is soothing, and his eyes follow Satine’s swaying. 

She smiles at him with soft eyes and her bottom lip between her teeth as she smiles. Her swaying moves into a slight bounce as she makes her way over to the sick Jedi. The blanket around Obi-Wan makes him seem smaller than normal. He looks frail and fragile, as though a soft wind could knock him over. 

His illness doesn’t stop him from finding the joy in hearing music or seeing her sway to the beat. He laughs brightly even though it’s accompanied by a cough. He grasps the breath mask and holds it over his mouth and nose and breathes deeply. 

Satine’s heart twinges at the sight, but the smile doesn’t leave Obi-Wan’s face. 

He drops the mask back to its spot and holds out a shaking hand to the Duchess. 

“Duchess,” He rasps. “Would you care to dance?” 

Satine chuckles and takes the last few steps to meet Obi-Wan. She takes his hand and carefully pulls him up. He rests his head on her shoulder as he catches his breath. 

“I would be my honor, General.” The pang of hurt that flares through her at the title is brushed away as Obi-Wan sways in her arms with her. They can’t move around much, but they make do with soft swaying motions and a few steps to the left or right. 

She tries to ignore his strained breathing against her neck. She tries to ignore what it means. 

“Focus on the now,” Obi-Wan’s reply is muffled slightly by her skin. “The future will come when it wants. Let’s live now.”

The future was daunting. 

Satine knew he was right. She needed to live in the moment. The future would have to wait. 

It would wait a very long time if Satine had her way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments! You're all so wonderful!!! And thank you for the Kudos as well!!!! I appreciate them just as much!!!!


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things to address.  
> 1\. I updated the tags. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for not thinking about them earlier, but they were updated. I'm so used to not updating certain things and I don't even think about some things being triggers for people. So I'm very sorry and PLEASE DON'T READ THIS IS TERMINAL ILLNESS TRIGGERS YOU! I'm sorry (again) for not thinking about tagging that.   
> 2\. This fic will probably only have one more chapter. It's really just because it's a sad fic and I think I can end it in one chapter and be good with it.

_ Then _

Satine’s blue image wavers in front of him. It’s not his vision that’s causing the image to sway. It’s just the holo itself. 

“Satine,” He winces at the rasp of his voice and he clears his throat carefully. “It’s wonderful to see you.” He keeps eye contact with her. He won’t look away. He needs to see her. 

“Obi-Wan,” She replies, her voice soft and worried. “To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you this fine day?”

Obi-Wan’s mouth quirks a bit in a smile and he huffs a small laugh through his nose. He wishes it were good news. He wishes he could tell her everything’s alright.

It’s not. 

He knows it’s not. The Council knows it’s not. 

(They’re the ones that told him to call her. He can’t fight like this. He can’t lead his men like this.)

“I have something to tell you.” He says after a few moments. “Satine, I-”

  
  
  


_ Now _

He can’t kneel down. He wouldn’t be able to get back up if he did. Even though Satine is there and would be able to offer support, he wouldn’t make it back up. 

So, he doesn’t kneel. He wanted to do this right, but he can’t. 

They’re sitting across from each other. It’s a warm day and the windows are open again. Obi-Wan feels a warmth he hasn’t felt in a while. 

“Satine,” He begins, catching her eye. He knows she knows what’s happening. How could she not? He can see her small smile and the twinkle in her eye. She looks happy. 

That’s good. She deserves to be. 

“I’ve known you for a while now,” Obi-Wan says with a quirked mouth. “I’ve loved you for a while now.” He admits, though they both already know that truth. “I wish our circumstances were different,” He looks down at his lap where his fingers fiddle lightly with each other. “But,” He looks back up at her and sees tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. “I would like to spend the time I have left with you in whatever way I can.” 

His hands shake as he draws out a small box from his pocket. He struggles with opening it for a moment, but he makes a triumphant noise when he does. 

The laugh that leaves Satine’s throat at that is soft and happy. It carries an undertone of sadness, but she pushes that down as she rises and inches closer to her love. 

Obi-Wan smiles widely at her.

“Satine Kryze,” He holds the ring in his hand. “Will you marry me?”

The tears fall freely down her cheeks as she nods and chokes out a “Yes,”. 

Obi-Wan laughs wetly through his own newly fallen tears as he slides the ring onto her finger. 

She nearly tackles the ill man as she gathers him in her arms and kisses him. 

They don’t know how much time they have left together, but they intend to spend it as best as they can.


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is techincally the last chapter, but I will be posting an epilogue as well today. Really, in just a few minutes.

_ Then _

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan’s voice is rough as he gathers his few belongings. He’s leaving the Temple today. Satine’s agreed to allow him to stay with her on Mandalore. 

(They both know she pretended to think about it. They both know she would always grant him a place with her, even after all they’ve been through together.)

“You’re leaving?” Anakin asks from his spot in the doorway. He’s not been told what’s happening with his former Master. He’s confused and worried. He doesn’t understand why Obi-Wan would leave the Temple. The Temple is Obi-Wan’s home. So why-

“Yes,” Obi-Wan replies, interrupting Anakin’s thoughts. He turns slowly to face his former Padawan. His eyes are dull as he lifts them to meet Anakin’s. “Something’s come up.”

“They’re not expelling you from the Order, are they?” 

Obi-Wan shakes his head and closes his eyes at the dizzy feeling that passes through him. When he opens them again, Anakin is closer than before and the worried look hasn’t left his face. He offers Anakin a soft smile that tinged with sadness. 

“Anakin, you have to understand that I’m doing this for a good reason.” Obi-Wan swallows thickly and sighs. “I’m sick, Anakin.” He pauses for a moment to let those words sink in. 

Anakin shakes his head at the unspoken words lying underneath the surface. 

“Don’t tell me-”

“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan whispers, lowering his eyes. “I know how hard this must be for you, but I can’t stay here.” He lifts his eyes and smiles again. “Teaching you was one of the best things that happened to me.” He admits this with a tilt of his head as Anakin lowers his eyes and clenches his fists. “I would never take those years back.”

(Even all the fights they had. Obi-Wan wouldn’t trade those years for anything.)

“It’s been wondrous seeing how far you’ve come. Look at you,” Obi-Wan whispers, and Anakin raises his teary eyes. “You’ve got your own Padawan. She’s doing so amazing under your care. You have to stay with her. When I’m gone, please don’t abandon her.” His throat is thick with sadness and he clears it carefully. “Stay by her side and help her grow.”

“Master, I-”

Obi-Wan doesn’t remember crossing the short distance, but he’s suddenly got Anakin in his arms as his former Padawan cries into his shoulder. 

“You’ll be alright.”

  
  


_ Now _

His breathing is strained. He can’t rise from his seat, but nothing stops the joy from filling his chest as he sees Satine stride towards him with all the grace only she could possess. 

Tears are gleaming in her eyes, and she knows it’s both from the joy of getting to marry this man and from the knowledge that they won’t get to spend much time together after this day. Even though he’s frail and falling further from her, he’s never looked more radiant. The sun sets his hair aflame and his eyes shine brightly in the rays. 

Satine’s soft steps finally stop as she kneels in front of her soon to be husband. He looks at her with a watery smile and he hopes she can feel the joy he’s projecting. He can’t do much at this point. 

All he can do is sit and smile. 

He can’t say his vows. 

All he can do is look at her with all the love his body carries for her. All he can do is love her. 

The light press of her lips against his grounds him in reality. The wet tears that brush against his face aren’t his. He lifts a shaky hand once they’ve parted and he swipes a weak finger against her cheeks to banish away the tears. 

Satine can do nothing but allow a watery laugh to escape her. 

They don’t have much time left together, but that doesn’t matter. 

All that matters is now. 


	5. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. This is the epilogue. 
> 
> THERE IS A DEATH IN THIS CHAPTER. IT'S A SAD TIME, BUT I DON'T GO INTO DETAIL BECAUSE I JUST COULDN'T BRING MYSELF TO DO THAT. SO, IF YOU DON'T LIKE CHARACTER DEATHS OR DEATH IN GENERAL, DON'T READ THIS CHAPTER. IT'S SAD. I'M SORRY.

_ Epilogue _

The rain doesn’t seem to stop. It’s fitting that it would rain on this day. 

Her husband lies on the bed peacefully. His features slack and pale. He looks so young. 

Satine brushes a hand against his cold cheek as tears stream down her face. She tries so hard to speak. She tries so hard to say something to the man she loves. 

She finds her words have escaped her. 

One shaky breath escapes her. It’s followed by another, then another. 

He passed in the night. He wasn’t in pain. She was there when he left.

(He had smiled one last time and pressed a weak kiss to her hand.)

The rain continues. 

(She learns later that the rain started at the same time on planets all across the galaxy, as though the galaxy itself was mourning. The Jedi would tell her the Force felt dimmer after his passing. They would say the Force lost a child that day, and that none could fill that void for a long time.)

“I love you. I’ve always loved you.” She whispers. 

They don’t bury him. They can’t. 

(“The Force works in mysterious ways,” Master Windu would later say to her. She pretends not to notice the shine in his eyes. “I believe someone on the other side was waiting for him to come home.” They both know he’s talking about Qui-Gon.)

All that’s left are the pile of clothes and a disturbed blanket. 

A warmth seems to cover her body as she weeps beside the empty bed. 

_ “You’re not alone,”  _ A voice seems to say.  _ “I’ll always be with you.” _

(She can’t see ghosts. If she could, she would see her husband embracing her with a sad smile as his Master watched on with a smile of his own. 

“It’s time to go,” He says, reaching one hand out to his former Padawan. 

Obi-Wan rises from his position and turns to face Qui-Gon with tears in his eyes. 

“Yes,” Obi-Wan agrees as he walks towards his former Master. “I believe it is.” 

Qui-Gon pulls the boy under his arm (that’s what he is, as the Force changes him into his 25-year-old self) and sends a soft smile to him. 

“There is much to do.”)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank all of you for reading this and commenting on this. It's my first time writing something like this so I hope you all enjoyed it and I hope I didn't make you too sad or made you cry (if i did, I'm sorry.) 
> 
> Thanks again for reading and commenting. Thank you for the kudos as well! And to those of you that bookmarked this, wow. Thank you. It means a lot that you would like this enough that you would want to save this with all those other fics that you like. 
> 
> Thanks so much again and I'm not really sure when I'll be posting something on here again. I'm well and truly out of ideas and the ones that I do have seem to fall flat (really, those drabbles/one shots that i have seem super strange and not at all what peeps be wanting hahaha). So, I'll see you...when or if I see you again. 
> 
> Goodbye!!!

**Author's Note:**

> This is gonna be great.
> 
> Come find me on Tumblr. meantforinfinitesadness is the...name..........uhhhhhh yeah.


End file.
